“Among many gains was to see clearly the “Perfect Program” and to see what a perfect trap it is. The ego can ‘never’ allow me to think that I did anything perfectly, so I am always chasing “Perfect” and being miserable because whatever I do is not so perfect.
I also saw the futility of resisting and struggling to be in Acceptance at the same time. . . a lot like Larry’s “you can’t sit down and stand up at the same time.” So for very practical reasons it occurred to me that I might as well Accept whatever is present. . . if I don’t, I’m sure to lock it in place. I am an Infinite Being and can decide to love and accept anything. Why not? What does Beingness have to fear or resist?
A ‘really, really big gain’ today was that after releasing, Lesterizing, A&A’ing, and doing the AGFLAP exercise with Steven, on the meeting with my business partner, Paul, the meeting finally happened this morning. I was really flying yesterday and released all the way home for over 3 hours, in addition to the retreat, and then worked with two partners on the phone last night.
I still awoke with a fair amount of fear and dread this morning, but let most of it go. I called Dennis who was really helpful. Then when Paul came in, I had a clutch, but began “I love you” inwardly over and over. As I told Dennis later, I couldn’t have written a movie script any better than what happened next. I didn’t have to do anything. . . he took himself out. He said: “I have been thinking about all the good times we have had together and really know that they are so much more important than any disagreements we may have. It is time for me to go. You can use my salary a lot better to hire some additional help for the company” And on and on. It was so perfect. I just sat there nodding and say “I love you” inwardly.
He gathered his things and left in a good mood. . . far different than anyone in my office, my wife, or my friends who know him could have ever expected. What a great releasing gain.
This stuff actually works!!!
Many thanks to all of you who helped me through a tough time. Onward to the better times.”
Blessings,
Rick Dillard
