The holidays often put us face-to-face with our most challenging and dysfunctional relationships.
Gatherings force us to be with people we avoid the rest of the year. Gift-giving (and receiving) is loaded with “should,” “have to,” and judgments of deserving. Expectations about the season drudge up old resentments, regrets, and even depression.
As releasers, it’s the perfect time to examine and correct our non-loving attitude when it comes to “others.” What we think about “them” is a mirror for us to see what we unconsciously think about ourselves.
Our emotions and wants when it comes to our relationships are indications that we feel out of control. Furthermore, the “I can’t” and “I won’t” thoughts that are playing in the background keep us from taking positive action.
Each “I can’t” is really an “I won’t.” It’s a way of playing the helpless victim, blaming others instead of taking responsibility for what happens to us.
Blaming others is nothing more than a limiting thought. These limiting thought patterns are the primary factors that keep us creating unhealthy relationships over and over again.
Why? Because we’re stuck in fear and we want to avoid it. But what we resist will persist because we’re holding in mind fear … which only brings into our awareness more people and things to be afraid of.
The result is, we feel even more unsafe and out of control because we won’t look at and accept that it’s only our thinking that has created the whole mess.
Instead, we get stuck trying to figure out how to change our outer circumstances – and fool ourselves into believing we don’t know what to do about it.The truth is, nothing “out there” can change (for long) until we change our inner picture.
Until we take this premise for checking and prove it to ourselves, we will continue unconsciously creating relationships that are somewhat dysfunctional – because they’re projected from dysfunctional (limited) thinking.
If we want to have healthy, successful relationships “out there,” we first need to clean up our unloving relationship with our Self.
How do we do this? We stop it! Stop beating ourselves down. Stop believing we don’t deserve. Stop hating ourselves because we’re not good enough yet …
Most importantly, we decide to clear out all our non-loving feelings by releasing.
Once we have love inside, we see all our relationships transform into love. Set a goal for the outcome we want to experience and release any attachments or aversions. Only when we identify what we would like to experience in life and commit to releasing our thoughts about it, can we begin creating better results – better relationships.
Releasing is an inside job. Love within will reflect love “out there.” Change our thinking and we change our circumstances. If we think we can, we can! And, if we think we can’t, we can’t! This is the time to prove it out.
By stepping off of the emotional rollercoaster (that we have created)… by reviewing our belief system… and choosing to do something different, we will experience better relationships in our life.
But only when we take total responsibility for our relationship with our Self, can we begin to change the negative patterns that we are experiencing in our relationships with others. Looking at the root source of how we feel about our Self, allows us to overcome unhealthy tendencies in our relationships.
The way to change unhealthy patterns is to make the unconscious habits, conscious — to see them running for ourselves. Once we catch the automatic behavior running and see how it affects our life, we can make a different decision on the spot.
If we’re not willing to do the work and release, the unconscious programming will continue to run undetected, forever.
This exercise will help you experience firsthand, why Lester repeatedly said, “No matter the problem, love is always the answer”:
The Season Greetings Exercise
Bring up in your mind the family members, friends, co-workers, frenemies … everyone that you will gather with during the holidays. Notice the feelings and the instant disapproval that arises, just by thinking of “them.” Then, you’ll see how you automatically start disapproving of yourself for disapproving of them.
Always start by letting go of disapproving of yourself. Then, look at each person individually and ask yourself, “What am I disapproving of with this person?” Then you make a decision, “Can I let go of disapproving of _?” Let it go with a decisive “Yes!” And continue to let go of each way you disapprove of them.
Next, let go of disapproving of the feelings that come up when you think about this person. Let go of disapproving of the story you have about them from the past.
Once you’ve let go of disapproving of everything that comes to mind. Go back and give everyone and everything love and approval.
Take this opportunity to release on all the people that will be at your holiday party or events until you love them all and you do not have any more negative feelings toward them.
Remember the holiday season is the time of giving. What could be better than giving love to yourself, everyone and everything?
When you have only love within yourself, your outer world will reflect love back to you. Commit to doing this exercise … Find out what happens!
Our relationships reveal a wealth of information to us; often misinterpreted. We would all like to experience being in peaceful and harmonious relationships but in all honesty, we aren’t used to being at peace. So, how is it possible for us to have peaceful and successful relationships?
In truth, many of us never really learned where real love and happiness comes from. Although we don’t care to admit this, many of us are holding non-loving thoughts about the folks in our lives. Even the ones we say we love.
And it’s only our negative, non-loving thoughts that prevent us from having and enjoying successful relationships.
So why not decide to use this holiday season to get loving, from here on out? It’s the best gift you’ll ever give (and receive from) yourself. You can also give “others” the gift of self-love by inviting them to learn to release during the two-weekend Change Your Life Telecourse, Dec. 8th – 17th.
Or you can bring a friend for free to the 7-Day Ultimate Year End Retreat in Orlando, Florida (Dec 26th – Jan. 1st) as long as rooms are available.
Imagine what your life would be like if you and everyone in your life knew how to release! This two-weekend course and 7-Day immersive retreat will help you easily turn your life from one of frustration, into a life of joy.
And you’ll be empowering those you love to live in abundance, peace and ease.
It all comes down to your decision.
Make a decision to change your unhealthy relationships during the holidays. Make a decision to be done with the negative patterns that have limited you from experiencing your true happiness. Make a decision to share your love of releasing, just like you’d recommend a movie you enjoyed.
Make a decision for love and releasing, and you’ll find yourself with all the love, control, and safety you could ever want this holiday season, and into the New Year!
Love,
The Release Technique Team
